An Angry_Man's Thoughts

Thank you, that's enough.

2008-03-05T09:00:00.002-05:00

Dear Old Man Winter,

Thank you for your visit. We appreciated the white Christmas.

You can fucking stop now!!!

Ignorant? or just plain dumb?

2008-02-05T11:09:00.001-05:00

I just received an email at work from a university professor who is looking for funding for the publication of a manuscript by a foreign press.

In the email, this person says: "According to the guidelines of your program, you state that it would be in the best interest of authors and foreign publishers to seek a co-publication with a canadian publisher. So do you think it's in our interest to seek a co-publication with a canadian publisher?"

... ... ...

WHAT?!?! Are you fucking serious? This is a university professor??? Holy fuck! I weep for the future since our children will be taught by people like this.

The 2007 "Stella Awards"

2008-01-21T08:03:00.000-05:00

It's time again for the annual 'Stella 2007 Awards'! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your hand on your head.

Here are the Stella's for the past year:

7TH PLACE : Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE: Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Go ahead, scratch your head or grab your head scratcher.

5TH PLACE: Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the Automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.

We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

4TH PLACE : Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Grrrrr ... Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE : Amber Carson of Lancaster , Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

What ever happened to people being responsible for their own fucking stupidity? Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stella's to go...

2ND PLACE : Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.

Go figure.

1ST PLACE : This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma , who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.

Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...? I'd like to get a bat and hit these jurors on the side of their head and ask,' What were you thinking?'

Merry Christmas

2007-12-24T09:19:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to everyone.

And if you think it's inconsiderate of me to say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays, well...

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!!!

Leafs suck!

2007-11-27T07:56:00.001-05:00

Aaahh. I've been wanting to write this for a very long time. I'm going to enjoy this. MWHAHAHAHAHA!

There's been a lot of talk recently about the Toronto Maple Leafs and what they need to do to fix the mess they have as a team. Lots of people have given their opinions, so now it's my turn.
As an Ottawa Senators fan, I normaly hate the Lafs (not a typo). But my hatred has been going on longer than when I became a Sens fan. Before Ottawa rejoined the NHL, I used to cheer for the Montreal Canadiens. So I've been hating the Lafs for a long time.

The first problem people say the team has is it's general manager, John Ferguson Jr. I tend to disagree. I think he's doing a fantastic job. You fuckers deserve what's happening to you. For years, you tried to do what the NY Rangers did and that's buy yourself a championship. But by trying to do that, you traded away all your draft picks and prospects for players who were WAAAAYYYYYYY past their prime. I think the average age on the Lafs team a few years back was 64 years old. If you were under 60, you neede to have at least one of the following:

1) back problems
2) knee problems
3) hip problems
4) shoulder problems

Now, people are saying that they should fire the coach, Paul Maurice. What the hell is that going to do? It was funny when, at the beginning of the year, Maurice said that not only will the Lafs make the playoffs but they will compete for the Stanley Cup. HAHAHAHA! What the fuck was he smoking? And where can I get some? Firing the coach will not solve your problems, cause you will still have no goaltender, no defence and only one good line. Not to mention the biggest bitch in the entire league. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...DarcyTucker.

What a fucking little punk this asshole is. Personally, I would be ashame to have him on my team. The guy is a pussy and an embarrassement to the game of hockey. A few years back, in the playoffs, Darcy "Mother" Tucker was along the boards, playing with the puck and probably his dick when Daniel Alfredsson body checked him into the boards, stole the puck and scored the winning goal. While it was a close call, you can clearly see Tucker turn into the boards AFTER being hit and falling down. The day after the game, he goes in front of the media and tells the world that he has a dislocated shoulder, his shoulder blade is broken in two different places and a crack bone in his arm. Poor little guy. Six days later, during the next series, Tucker is on the ice playing.

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! Dislocated shoulder, broken shoulder blade in two places and acracked bone and you're playing hockey 6 days later? Those are some pretty impressive healing powers you have, Mr. Tucker. Or maybe you're just a fucking little pussy. I think that's it. Want more proof. Happy to oblige.

Two years ago, during an exhibition game against the Senators, Mike Fisher rocks Tucker with a body check and steals the puck. Tucker is down on the ice, in "pain" and looking at the ref. When the ref does nothing, Tucker gets up (again those amazing healing powers) skates after Fisher and starts yapping. He then shoves Fisher, who shoves him right back. Tucker then drops his gloves and tells Fisher "Let's do it". He then eats about 5 knuckle sandwiches, without throwing a puch, and then gets dumped like the piece of trash he is. It was so funny to see. When he threw him down, Fisher didn't even leave his feet. It was like a garbageman tossing a bag of thrash in the truck. Once again, Darcy Tucker, #1 bitch. Want more?

Last year, Darcy Tucker starts a fight with Patrick Eaves, who at this point of his career, has never fought before (he now has two fights under his belt). While Eaves didn't fair too too good, he still held his own. The next night, the second game of a home-and-home series between Toronto and Ottawa, Chris Neil goes up to the bitch Tucker and asks if he wants to fight now. Tucker backs away, and after the game, when asked about the incident, tells the media, with a fucking straight face, that it is Neil's job to fight and that if he (Tucker) had fought, he would've been beaten, So he wasn't going to fight. You fucking little pussy! You pick on people who don't fight, but when someone who can defend themselves wants to go, the yellow line down your back is more evident than ever.

A few years back, Sports Illustrated Magazine polled its readers to ask them which was the most hated team in all of sports. The winners? You guessed it, the Toronto Maple Leafs. In the same issue, they asked the refs of the NHL who were the whinniest coaches and players in the league. #1 biggest whinner amongst coaches: Pat Quinn, then coach of the Maple Leafs. As for biggest whinners amongst players: #1, #2, #4 and #5 were all Leafs players. You should hear some of the excuses these motherfuckers use when they lose a game. The refs were against us, the ice was too slippery, thepuck was too black, someone open a door and a gust of wind came into the building. Okay so I made some of these up, but you get the point. They do always use the refs excuse and a new one from the coach last year. Apparently, according to Maurice, before a shootout loss to the Canadiens, the zamboni driver didn't clean the Montreal end of the ice as well as the Toronto end, so there was a little more snow to help the Canadiens goalie stop the pucks. Right, so now in addition to the refs, the zamboni drivers are against you. It has nothing to do with the fact that your team sucks ass.

While people who were polled hated the team, they said that what they hated the most was the fans. More than Yankees or L.A. Raiders fans. I couldn't agree more. If you ever want a good laugh and proof that the majority of Lafs fans are fucking idiots, go read the fans comments on TSN.ca. It's funny shit. One example was after the Sens signed Ray Emery to a contract this past summer. One Lafs fan wrote that the Sens are a stupid organization for giving an overated player like Emery a large contract. The person's screen name was McCabe24. I'm sorry, but with a name like that, you shouldn't be talking about players who are overated and getting paid too much. McCabe sucks ass and is getting paid over 6 million dollars to play.

Another example of how fucking retarded some Lafs fans are; a few years ago, I went to a Sens vs. Leafs game with my friend Lee. In front of us were 4 Toronto fans. One of them had a beer in his hands with no cover on it. During the game, the Lafs made a good play (it wasn't a goal) but this fucktard gets up and starts waving his hands up and down and screaming. Now, even a mentally challenged two year old knows that when you shake a glass with liquid in it, said liquid will not stay in the glass. But this concept seemed to have escaped this fucking retarded asshole. People got sprayed with beer and the idiot was eventually thrown out by security. His three buddies then start threatening the man who complained to security about their buddy. More fucking idiots.

Fortunately, there are some intelligent Leafs fans out there, so maybe there is hope for "Leafs Nation" I wouldn't count on it though. Until then, I will continue to support the GM, JFJ and hope he continues the good job he is doing. And I will laugh when the Toronto Maple Lafs don't make the playoffs for the third straight year.

Go Sens Go!

Holten's Homily

2007-10-18T09:42:00.000-04:00

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

Answering an age-old question

2007-08-29T13:17:00.000-04:00

Why Men Die First

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries...but now, we know.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.
If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.
If you don't work hard enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...it's exploitation;
if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay...you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her...that is favoritism.
If she gets a promotion ahead of you...it's equal opportunity.
If you mention she looks nice...it's sexual harassment;
if you don't mention it...it's male indiference.
If you cry...you're a wimp;
if you don't...you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her...you're a chauvinist;
if she makes a decision without consulting you...she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy...that's domination;
if she asks you to do something you don't enjoy...it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...you're a pervert;
if you don't appreciate the female form and frilly underwear...you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...you're a sexist;
If you don't like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape...you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape...you're vain;
if you don't try to keep in shape...you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers...you're after something;
if you don't...you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements...you're full of yourself;
if you're not...you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache...she's tired;
if you have a headache...you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often...you're oversexed;
if you don't...there must be someone else.

Men die first because they want to.

How retarded can you get?

2007-06-22T09:15:00.000-04:00

Finally! I am back! I've been having problems signing in to post new rants, updates, and random shit since March. I blame Google. Boooo Google! But now, I'm back. Ready to rage again. >:-)

One thing that has been annoying me lately is the amount of junk mail we keep getting at work. It does provide me with some entertainment, though. How can people be so fucking retarded that they actually beleive people will open and read their shit? The one I like the best are the one that have subjects like "Emmo liks fwoihqbj". So I then ask myself "Did the person write a subject like that because they want to get past the junk mail filters, or are they fucking retarded?" I usually go with fucking retarded. Do you actually beleive people will open a message from someone who can't grasp the english language?

Another popular spam mail message is the one from some Nigerian piece of shit who's trying to scam you out of money. "Hi, I'm the last living relative of King Mook Mook Adji Blismen and I need your help to take care of this sum og 53 million dollars that I have in my account." Let me get this straight: you have 53 million dollars and you need my help? So all I have to do is give you my bank info and everything will be fine? Sure that doesn't sound like a scam to me. Here's my info. Should I bend over so you can fuck me in the ass even more? These people can be fun to fuck with though. For examples, visit http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/

Next are the emails being sent about the miracles or penis enlargement patches. I have a question: why are so many people out there worried about the size of my penis? It's kind of a disturbing thought. Listen, just because you needed to enlarge your penis to fuck your boyfriend up the ass doesn't mean that every guy wants to have a large member. If it worked for you, good for you. Not everyone is as insecure as you are.

So that's the rant for this time. A short update on the rest of life:

- My girlfriend and I bought a house together and moved last April;

- My friends Andrew and Dawn are getting married in 6 weeks;

- Congrats to the Sens for an amazing run at the Stanley Cup this year. We'll get them next year;

- And the Maple Leafs still suck ass.

Until next time, it's good to be back.

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?

2007-02-20T09:48:00.000-05:00

You are Charles VI of France, also known as Charles the Mad or Charles the Well-Beloved!
A fine, amiable and dreamy young man, skilled in horsemanship and archery, you were also from a long line of dribbling madmen. King at 12 and quickly married to your sweetheart, Bavarian Princess Isabeau, you enjoyed many happy months together before either of you could speak anything of the other's language.

However, after illness you became a tad unstable. When a raving lunatic ran up to your entourage spouting an incoherent prophecy of doom, you were unsettled enough to slaughter four of your best men when a page dropped a lance. Your hair and nails fell out. At a royal masquerade, you and your courtiers dressed as wild men, ending in tragedy when four of them accidentally caught fire and burned to death. You were saved by the timely intervention of the Duchess of Berry's underskirts.

This brought on another bout of sickness, which surgeons countered by drilling holes in your skull. The following months saw you suffer an exorcism, beg your friends to kill you, go into hyperactive fits of gaiety, run through your rooms to the point of exhaustion, hide from imaginary assassins, claim your name was Georges, deny that you were King and fail to recognise your family. You smashed furniture and wet yourself at regular intervals. Passing briefly into erratic genius, you believed yourself to be made of glass and demanded iron rods in your attire to prevent you breaking.

In 1405 you stopped bathing, shaving or changing your clothes. This went on until several men were hired to blacken their faces, hide, jump out and shout "boo!", upon which you resumed basic hygiene. Despite this, your wife continued sleeping with you until 1407, when she hired a young beauty, Odette de Champdivers, to take her place. Isabeau then consoled herself, as it were, with your brother. Her lovers followed thick and fast while you became a pawn of your court, until you had her latest beau strangled and drowned.

A severe fever was fended off with oranges and pomegranates in vast quantities, but you succumbed again in 1422 and died. Your disease was most likely hereditary. Unfortunately, you had anywhere up to eleven children, who variously went on to develop capriciousness, great cruelty, insecurity, paranoia, revulsion towards food and, in one case, a phobia of bridges.

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?

2006. The Year in Review

2007-01-22T13:53:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my friend Marie for giving me the idea (and format) for this entry.

We will return to our normal angry, profanity-filled regular programming next time.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?Organized the largest multidisciplinary book fair in North America (not that I like patting myself on the back but, good job Ben!)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did not and I won't be making any, since I usually let myself down in that area.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? my cousin

4. Did anyone close to you die? no

5. What countries did you visit? just Canada

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? a house with my girlfriend and no crazy, fucking, ignorant, retarded neighbors living below us. Oh wait, that's already happening. :-D

(Okay, so there was some profanity. My bad.)

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? January 19, 2006 - the day my girlfriend and I met in person for the first time.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting in better shape. Still has some work to do, but I'll get to where I want to be.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not telling the neighbor to fuck off. :-(

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? only in my mind.

11. What was the best thing you bought? nothing really special in 2006.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Me

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? No one's. Although Paris Hilton continues to be retarded. She's so dumb that blondes all over the world look at her and say "Fuck! She's dumb!"

14. Where did most of your money go? Mortgage

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Starting the process of buying a house.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006? I Walk the Line by Johnny Cash

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i) happier or sadder? Happier; ii) thinner or fatter? about the same; iii) richer or poorer? richer (I'm having a hard time beleiving that)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? working out

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? eating junk

20. How did you be spending Christmas? with family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2006? yes!

22. How many one-night stands? no.

23. What was your favorite TV program? I don't have an absolute favorite, but the original CSI is good.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no

25. What was the best book you read? Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? Johnny Cash (didn't really care for country before)

27. What did you want and get? a terrific girlfriend

28. What did you want and didn't get? revenge

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest; Bon Cop, Bad Cop.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went to dinner with my family and went to Québec City with my girlfriend the weekend before

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? revenge sweet, sweet wonderful revenge.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? good? i don't know? :-P.

33. What kept you sane? My wonderful girlfriend.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? none. I like my own life.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? the conservatives winning the election. Have to do the utmost to get them out of power.

36. Who did you miss?

37. Who was the best new person you met? my girlfriend.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006? The fastest way to find something is to start looking for something else.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Happy "Politically Correct" Holidays

2006-12-25T07:21:00.000-05:00

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice (with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others or their choice not to practice such traditions at all).

Furthermore, I offer my (non-binding) best wishes for the onset of the generally accepted calendar year of 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Canada great. (Which is not to imply thatCanada is any greater than any other country). These wishes are offered without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee, even if you're a Liberal.

Happy (if happiness is in your belief system) Holidays (if you recognize them)!

p.s. Thank you to Perry for supplying the content of this post.

p.p.s. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

'Tis the Season...Ignorant people, chap. 7

2006-12-20T16:12:00.000-05:00

'Tis the season. The clear signs that the Christmas season is upon us have appeared. It's not the snow on the ground, cause there isn't any here in Ottawa, and it isn't the decorations or the Christmas music in the shopping malls. It's not the bright decorations you see on houses as you drive down the streets. The surest sign that Christmas is almost here is that the number of ignorant cocksuckers as multiplied a thousand times over.

Any sane person will try to avoid going into malls in December, but since it is Christmas, and it's become so commercialized, you are expected to buy presents for your family and friends. So be it. And it's understandable that there are huge crowds. But what really makes this time of year a real pain in the ass is the number of ignorant fucks out there. What as happened to common sense and common courtesy.

Last week, I gathered my courage and headed out to the mall to do some shopping. When I got to the doors, a woman was about to come out so i decided to open the door ahead of her to help her. She never said a damn word of thanks. Do I look like a fucking doorman, you stupid bitch! I did that because I'm polite, the least you can say is thanks. It won't kill you, you dumb cow!

So that should have been a sign to me of how this trip was going to be. It just got worse from there. My biggest problem are the people who don't use the pea sized brain they have in their fucking heads. My girlfriend and I went into Baby Gap (before anyone freaks out, she was being some clothes for her 14 month old niece). The place was packed. And in comes this fat sow of a woman with a shopping cart. Now, to all intelligent people out there, if you were going into a crowded store in December, would you bring a shopping cart with you? The answer is no. Worst case scenario, you go to your car and put the bags you have already in the trunk and then go back to continue shopping. But most people today think that they are the only ones on the planet, and that they own everything. People should bow to them and live their lives to please these motherfuckers.

When I think of these shitheads and see that they are raising kids, I weep for the future. Of course, sometimes you will find the exception to the rule. While in Zellers last week, a teenager (about 15) walked ehind me in the aisle and actually said "Excuse me" as he passed. I was speechless. I didn't know there still excited some young people who had manners. I thought I'd end this post on that happy note.

I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Universal Truth - Organisations

2006-11-23T11:22:00.000-05:00

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist. "I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip!"

The woamn below responded, "You must be in management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

********************
It's funny cause it's true. :-)

Lest We Forget

2006-11-11T07:15:00.000-05:00

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead.
Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved,
and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

- John McCrae, 1915

__________________

They shall grow not old, as we who are left grow old.
Age shall not wary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,
We will remember them.
We will remember them.

Lest we forget.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a veteran.

Complete bullsh*t!

2006-11-03T09:34:00.000-05:00

First of all, I decided to stop making promises of more frequest updates, cause it's obvious that I don't keep those promises. :-P

Today's topic is about something that is really irritating me lately. A new study now says that the majority of Canadians can't find a family doctor, which means they have to go to the clinics or to the emergency rooms if they get sick. This leads to longer wait times and most people decided not to go because of those wait times, which means that many serious health problems are not diagnosed early.

Yet, I saw a commercial on tv saying that "right now, in Ontario, there are more nurses, more MRI techs and more doctors to see you which means less wait time." Ah, I see. So which Ontario are you talking about? Cause it sure ain't this one!

My girlfriend is an emergency room nurse and my sister is an oncology nurse, so I know for a fact that there is a shortage of nurses in Ontario. So I don't know where these dumb fucks got their stats. Probably pulled them out of their asses! The reason there is a shortage of nurses in Canada is because they get paid dickall! For the amount of work they do, they get paid close to nothing. And they also often work close to 80 hours a week! My sister had a hard time getting a full-time position at her hospital because whenever a full-time nurse would retire or leave the profession, they would reclassify her position as part-time. The reason for this: you don't have to pay part-timers benefits and don't have to guarantee them vacation. A good way to save money. The large majority of nurses suffer burn-outs and leave the profession in the first 5 years after obtaining their license. But according to the producers of the commercial, right now, there are more nurses in Ontario. That's complete bullshit!

As for the MRI techs, my father booked an appointment for an MRI because he was suffering from back pains. They called him last April to tell him that his appointment was at the end of May, at 1:55 am. He wondered what they were talking about and they told him it was for the MRI for his back pain. He called for that appointment in November 2003! He hasn't had back pain since 2005! But according to the commercial, right now, there are more MRI techs in Ontario. Where do you come up with this shit?!

No one is going into the medical professions anymore, because of lousy work conditions, low pay and high stress levels for which they get no support. If you want to help nurses, doctors and specialists, write to the government and tell them that they need more support. Write to the hospitals and tell them that their staff is good but need more support. Once the government gets off its ass and actually does something, other than making little bullshit commercials that spread lies, then things may start to change.

Ignorant people, chap. 6

2006-09-12T12:29:00.000-04:00

This entry is dedicated to my friend Perry, who is currently teaching English in Japan and recently had a birthday. I promised him an update. So here it is.

Before I get to the topic of this rant, did people see Harper's speech yesterday? He was of course talking about 9/11, but he looked like a fucking metronome! Leaning to the left...then leaning to the right...then left...then right... and so on. I didn't really listen to what he was saying. I always try to tune out ignorant people. But you can most likely bet that his speech was approved first by his good friend Dubya.

Anyway, on to other things. As many people know, in Ottawa, there are only two seasons: hockey and construction. The hockey season ends when the Senators are eliminated from the playoffs, so every April. And that's when the construction season starts. If you go anywhere in the city right now, you will hit construction. It's always fucking going on! In my opinion, this is because road crews work between two signs all "season" long: SLOW DOWN and ROAD WORK.

But the non-stop construction is not helping the conditions on the roads, which are full of ignorant motherfuckers who don't know how to fucking drive! The people I really hate are the assholes who like to take 5 minutes to turn a fucking corner. True, you should slow down to keep control, especially in winter, but there are fucking limits! Christ!

Also don't you just loooooove the idiots who don't go once the light is green or after doing their stop? What are you waiting for, you dumb fuck?! The stop sign isn't going to turn green! And the light doesn't change to a different shade of green. And then, there are the lovely analysts. You know, the ones who need to slow down (almost to a complete stop) to look at an accident or at a cop car that stopped another vehicule? Even if these events are taking place on the other side of the fucking road, going in the other direction! These people should be rounded up and beaten to death with an axe handle.

In my humble opinion, drivers should be made to have to retake a road test every 5 years to renew their licenses. If this was the case, boy, the number of dead beats and fucking retards on the roads would drop dramatically.

If you have a frustrating story about driver, please share.

Till next time (which I promise won't be too long from now)

The 75th Congress, part...oh let's just finish it

2006-08-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

Alright kids, let's get the rest of the Congress done with so I can start bitching about other things too. ;-)

Day 12, Thursday June 1

Time to add a new department here at York to my "Christ! I wish they would die!" list: York Facilities. They are the ones in charge of basically all the functions at York, from housekeeping to moving things to whatever. Well, someone should tell them their jobs, cause they aren't doing them. Fuck!

Every booth in the book fair has a waste basket and carpet. Every night, the garbages have to be picked up and the booths have to be vacuumed. On Sunday morning, the second day of the book fair, publishers came up to me and told me that the garbage hadn't been picked up and the booths hadn't been vacuumed. I figured, okay I probably should've told Facilities that it was their job to do this during the book fair. So I called them up and asked them to please go empty the garbages and asked them to vacuum the booths. They said no problem, and half an hour later, all the waste baskets had been emptied. Then, on Monday morning, I asked the publishers if their booths had been cleaned and the garbage picked up and they said yes. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised. So great, one less thing I have to deal with.

Or so I thought. Tuesday morning, the publishers told me that the booths hadn't been vacuumed and the garbages hadn't been emptied. So I called Facilities again, told them and they said no problem. Wednesday morning, the booths had been vacuumed and the garbages picked up. But today, they hadn't! Goddam, cocksukings motherfuckers! You would think that if you expect 8,000 people to show up for a conference on your shitty campus, that garbages will have to be emptied (cause I asked my colleagues and the garbages have not been emptied at Registration, in the media room, in the Congress office, etc.) And why should we have to remind you every fucking day to do your jobs. AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!

On a more positive side, cause it can't all be bad (although at York, it's not easy to find good stuff), I was able to sneak away for a while today and go listen to the Research in Society Lecture with David Suzuki. He was one of our featured speakers this year. Others included Bernard Shapiro (the ethics commissioner of Canada and Stephen Lewis who speaks on Saturday). Dr. Suzuki is an amazing speaker and his lecture on the challenges of cities in the 21st century was very good. I'm glad I was able to go.

Tonight, I was also able to leave the fucking hellhole that is the York campus and go out to dinner to a nice little Peruvian restaurant with the gang from University of British Columbia Press. They took me out and treated me to dinner to thank me for the "superb job" I do at the ASPP and this year for the book fair. It's nice to be recognized. :-)

Stay tuned...
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Day 14, Saturday June 3

ALLELUIA!!! This is it! The last day of Congress! The whole gang here is so fucking happy that we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Soon we won't have to deal with the idiots from York anymore. The majority of my day was again spent patrolling the book fair and talking to the publishers, asking them how everything went for them. Some were still complaining but I've learned to tune these shitheads out. I must say though that for the most part, I heard alot of good things. People were pleased for the most part with how the book fair went. I decided that I will be sending out a survey once I get back to the office to all the publishers and ask them what they liked and what we can do to improve for next year. Although since next year will not be at York, there's a huge improvement right there.

Stay tuned...
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Day 15, June 4

It's over! It's over! Thank you Lord! I managed to survive this without crippling any of these motherfuckers here at York. I was so exhausted last night, that I missed the farewell dinner that we have every year on the last day of Congress. I was planning on going, but I went back to my room and changed then lied down for a bit before going to meet up with my colleagues, but I fell asleep. Oh well, I didn't really want to spend time with these York idiots more than I have to.

Today was dismantle day at the book fair. All the publishers had packed up and left on Saturday night, so Global was able to just come in and start packing up at 8am. They were all done by 7 pm tonight. I help for part of the day, mostly picking up garbage (since York facilities wasn't doing it, imagine that! Fucking pieces of shit!) So once they were done. I grabbed some food, went back to my room and started packing. My train leaves tomorrow at 3 pm, but I am seriously fucking tempted to jump in a cab, go to the airport and see if I can get on a flight to Ottawa tonight. Just so I can get away from this place.

I decided not to do the flight thing. I'll take the train tomorrow afternoon. But I decided that I will be leaving early and I'll go walk around downtown, see the sites. I haven't been to the hockey hall of fame in a while, so I'll probably do that. Go see the Stanley Cup up close. :-)
______________________________________

So there you have it, folks. That was my experience at Congress. I really enjoyed being in charge of the book fair, and I'm looking forward to doing it again next year. Plus on the up side, next year, the Congress is at the University of Saskatchewan in Saskatoon. I'm looking forward to it cause I've never been out there. And on another positive note, we won't be going back and now don't have to deal with York University for a long time.

Alright, next time, I'll be complaining about something brand new. Thank you all for being patient and I hope you enjoyed reading up on Congress.

Finally, I'd like to send a shout out to Perry and Tia who are in Japan: YORK SUCKS!!!!!

The 75th Congress, part 6

2006-07-15T16:06:00.000-04:00

Day 10, Tuesday May 30

I have fucking had it! I have reached the end of my patience and there are still six fucking days left! I just want to scream and cripple the first motherfucker I get my hands on. And at this point, that motherfucker will be the first goddamn person that steps in front of me!

Like most of my other colleagues, I don't want to deal with the idiots working here at York U, the fucking university, the cocksucking city and its anal fire marshall. This asshole told us that a number of booths now have to move because they need to be a further 8 inches away from the sprinkler heads than they are now. Which is fair, after all, regulations are regulations. But couldn't you tell us this last Thursday when the booths were empty and not now when we will have to get the publishers to take down their inventory for us to make the change, you cocksucking piece of shit. Or maybe I should be talking to the fucking inbred retards here at the university. If they had gotten off their fat asses and gotten the fire marshall's approval a few months ago instead of the day before the book fair opened, we coudl've skipped all the fucking headaches we are having now.

Today is change over day, where part time publishers during the first half leave and new ones arrive. So Jason, the guy from Global who stayed behind to do the change over, will also have to take down booths and all that retardedness. It's going to be a long night. I'll be staying to give him a hand, and hopefully we can hire a student or two to help as well.

Now the fire marshall had been a pain in my ass pretty much since last December. And I was never really impressed with the way York handled things as a whole. As I mentioned before, it seems to me that ever since preparations started, the Federation has been doing one thing and York has been doing it's own thing. I fucking hate them! I can see why so many publishers were not happy having to come to York. The locationof the university is shit! It's isolated and there's not much around. Actually, I shouldn't say there's not much around; there's nothing around! There isn't a subway stop at the campus and we'd have to drive 45 minutes to get to downtown Toronto! Not that I really want to do that, but it would be nice to be able to do something after a day's work. But often, my feet are killing me and I'm so exhausted after dealing with all kind of bullshit that I just want to go back to my room, tell everyone to go fuck themselves and cry into my pillow until I fall asleep. ;-) Hehehe, the last part is over exagerated, I'm not to that point...yet.

Stay tuned...

The 75th Congress, part 5

2006-07-15T15:44:00.000-04:00

Day 7, Saturday May 27

Alright, here we go. The Congress is officially starting and the Book Fair, my first as coordinator, is up and running.

I started the day by getting some good news concerning the box of books that was taken from a booth last night. Turns out that York security was on the case into the night and they were able to learn that the person who took the box was the publisher who's booth that was. So again, I'm very pleased with the work York security has done with this, so yay for them. Also, this incident has shown them that they may require more security personnel inside the mall because the two people they had before can't be everywhere at once. So good for them. I'd still like them to lock down the mall earlier, but we'll see how that works. If there's another incident like this, I will have to talk with Denis, the Director of Congress, and we'll have to request that the mall close sooner. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

No to the publisher who had us all worried, fuck you! You could've told the security personnel that you needed to pick up a box in your booth, especially since it was obvious that no one was around and the book fair was closed. Anyway...

So here we go, wish us all luck.

Stay tuned...

The 75th Congress, part 4

2006-06-27T12:06:00.000-04:00

Day 6, Friday May 26

Sorry to you all for missing a few days of recounting all of York's bullshit and stupidity but nothing too exciting has been happening here.

Can we go home yet? That's pretty much what the whole Federation staff is saying here. Everyone one of us have had it up to here with dealing with the fucking morons here at York. It seems to me that there are two different congresses going on here: the Federation's Congress and York's Congress. They are operating on their own little fucking schedule and the Federation can pretty much go to hell!

An example: on Wednesday, my colleagues at the Registration desk needed the computer system up and running by 9:30 am because they were going to train the students that will be working at Registration during Congress at noon on that day. They called the tech guys, who took their sweet ass time getting there and my colleagues informed them that not only was the system not working, but they didn't have enough fucking monitors for all the stations! The guys asked them when the Congress started and we said Saturday. "Oh well," they said, as in "Oh well, there's no rush (the facial expressions and tone of voice said alot). So after explaining about the training at noon, the tech guys said alright we'll come set it up. It was by now 8:30 am. At 11:15 am, they arrive with the extra monitors and the tools to set up the system, which they had up and operational ... at 3:30 pm! A whole fucking day wasted! You may say, maybe they ran into some problems. That's true, but the whole thing should've been done on Tuesday anyway, like we had originally requested.

Now, on to my domain: the Book Fair. today was move-in day for the publishers, so that they could set up their booths. This was chaos, but a kind of controlled chaos. All went relatively well. I spent most of the day running all over the place back and forth. On the plus side, I'm going to lose some weight while I'm here. The down side: my feet are killing me.

Also, my dear, dear friend the fire marshall finally decided to show his fucking face and do his job and come look at the set-up to see if it can be approved. When I met him in person, I immediatly hated him. He was tall, skinny, blond hair, glasses and on a power trip. He was fucking Steve Watson, my old manager from my Loeb days. Now it wasn't really Watson but he looked exactly like him. He looked around and was taking notes. We came to a booth where a publisher was setting up and FM (fire marshall) tells the publisher "You have to move your counter back." in a rude tone. The publisher asked why and FM replied that there needs to be a clearance of 1,29 m between the counter and the wall. The publisher said okay, and asked if FM could measure the distance so that she knew how far she could go. He said "move the counter". They kept this up for about 5 minutes and then FM took out his measuring tape (cause he had on in his pocket, and measured the current distance from counter to wall ... 1,29 m! Five fucking minutes of arguing for nothing. He is the perfect example of the Toronto mentality: we are better than you so fuck off!

I also spent most of my time setting up a make shift curtain idea to cover the front of the booths after hours, to discourage people from taking any of the books. I figure "Out of sight, out of mind". On top of the security personnel York put in the mall and the lockdown time of 10 pm during the Congress, I figured it will be good enough. Can you all tell where this is going?

Tonight, I was told that someone crawled under the curtains of one booth and took a whole box of books. York security saw this happening on camera and sent people to the scene. The people got into a car and York security pursued to the limit of the campus. But they said they got a license plate. What the hell is that going to do?!

"Hello, Toronto police."

"Hello, a box of books was just stolen."

"Alright, we'll get right on that. Who cares about all the other problems, gangs, drugs, weapons going on in this fucking shithole of a city."

I'm sorry, I'm just fucking pissed off. I'm pleased that security was right on top of this and did all they could do. But in the mean time, I will have to deal with a publisher who has just lost hundreds of dollars worth of books before the book fair even officially fucking opens! This is my first year as book fair coordinator, and while I know I shouldn't, I feel like I failed. I take great pride in the work that I do and put alot of effort in it and this is a blow that I take personally. But I have to remember that it is York's fault. Their stupid insistance that the mall remain open after the book fair closes, so that the stores don't lose any money. Well maybe they can explain their retarded logic to this publisher now.

I can't wait to go home and forget about this nightmare.

Stay tuned...

The 75th Congress, part 3

2006-06-14T19:23:00.000-04:00

Day 3: Tuesday, May 23

My God! Is it only Tuesday? I can't beleive I have to stay here for another 13 days! I'm really looking forward to going home. And the actual Congress hasn't even started yet!

I was wondering when the bullshit was going to start, cause since we started dealing with York last year, it's been nothing but fucking retardedness after fucking retardedness. But since I arrived, it's been going pretty well, so I've been waiting for the crap. I'm happy to say that I don't have to wait anymore.

The foolishness is once again centered around the fire marshall, who has to give his approval for the location of the book fair. That's right kids, he could still come up and say "no, this location is no good". And that would fuck the whole thing up. We would be up shit creek without a fucking paddle. We have to jump through so many damn hoops with this issue, it's not even funny anymore. I'm just waiting for them to tell me that to get approval, I have to take this ring deep into the land of Mordor and toss it in the fires of Mount Doom before the Dark Lord Sauron gets a hold of it and destroys all of Middle-Earth (thank you to Jon Stewart for this anecdote). I understand that the book fair is in a retail area and that space is limited, but I really beleive that York and the fire marshall expects all the books to burst into flames or that the Federation and the publishers are a bunch of fucking pyromaniacs! This is getting beyond ridiculous. Another issue we are having is that the university won't give us the keys to our offices. They say "the offices are to be used during the Congress" which doesn't start until Saturday. Well we have to get in there to get things set up before the start of Congress, you dumb fuck!

On the plus side, they gave me a blackberry today for the duration of the Congress. While I feel special about that, the feeling is easily overshadowed and annihilated by the stupidity of York U. How I wish I was back home.

Stay tuned...

The 75th Congress, part 2

2006-06-07T08:43:00.000-04:00

Day 2, Monday, May 22

Happy Victoria Day! I hope everybody was able to enjoy the first long weekend of the summer.

In Toronto today, it was fucking cold. At least it didn't rain, but it was overcast, windy and cold. This evening though, the sun is out but is too low to provide any heat. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a little warmer.

This morning, Global Convention Services arrived and started setting up the booths for the book fair. They had four of their guys and had hired six students to help. So they didn't really need my help. They have a system down for the set-up and didn't have any questions for me. So I hovered aroudn for a few hours, then I went over to the Hospitality York offices to check my emails, incase there were some last minute questions from exhibitors. No rest for the wicked, I guess. Then, I had nothing else to do. I ended up picking up some Subway for lunch, went back to my room, read and actually fell asleep for about two and a half hours. When I woke up, I went over to check on the booths' progress. They ended up doing alot of work and they figure they'll be completely done by midday tomorrow.

At 6 o'clock, I went to dinner with my colleagues Irene, Danielle and Irene's husband Ralph. A number of our colleagues arrive tomorrow. We went to Kelsey's, cause there isn't much else open tonight. That is probably one of the major downsides about being at York U for the Congress, other than the fact that we are at fucking York University! The fact that the university is in the middle of fucking nowhere, and that we are very far from downtown Toronto, our dining and entertainment options are extremely limited and even non-existant. So I may end up spending lots of time in my room. Good thing I brought a few books with me.

The shitty thing about today was finding out that I actually didn't really have to come down to Toronto as early as I did. I probably could've left today, even tomorrow and it wouldn't have made a difference. But the way I look at it, this is my first year as book fair coordinator so I'm learning. I'll know for next year not to arrive on site so early, it's not really necessary.

Stay tuned...

The 75th Congress

2006-06-06T10:26:00.000-04:00

Day 1: Sunday, May 21

Today, I was travelling from Ottawa to Toronto for the Congress. The Congress doesn't start until next Saturday, May 27, but as the Book Fair coordinator, I apparently have to be here when the company we use to supply all the booths sets up. And since the Book Fair is taking place in the York Lanes mall, and all the stores will be closed tomorrow, I get to work on Victoria Day. I hope all you people will enjoy the long weekend while I work, you bastards. :-P Although it's not that bad since I will be claiming today and tomorrow as overtime.

The trip itself was very nice. I took the train, because I figured it's a nice way to travel. The only minor irritant on the trip was a little boy who was not happy being on the train. But I figure he was about 2 years old, and at that age, kids like to test limits, to see exactly how far they can go. Too bad his parents were letting him get away with everything, but that's a whole different story. So I threw on the iPod and listening to music while looking at the scenery.

Once I got to Toronto, and over the feeling of vomiting that comes over everyone that comes to this city (I'm kidding!), I hopped into a cab and headed to York University, the site of this year's Congress. Now, after looking at a map of Toronto a while back, I noticed that York U was a long way away from the train station, and I told myself "Fuck! this could be a $100 cab ride, cause it looks like you have to go through downtown! Just fucking wonderful!" Well, I don't know if it was the driver or the fact that I can't read a map, but the cab ride cost me $50 including tip. That's a nice way of getting things started. Hopefully, things will stay on the positive side.

That was indeed wishful thinking and it didn't last. Once I got to the Hospitality York offices, or should I say the old offices, there was a sign on the door saying that the offices had moved to the Ross building. First of all, it would've been nice of them to let us know that they were moving to new offices. I doubt this was a last second decision. And second of all, where the fuck is the Ross building? I spent about 20 minutes in the fucking rain, dragging my suitcase and bags looking for a damn map of the campus. Finally found one and located the Ross building, which, of course, was now all the way across the fucking campus from where I now was. Once I got to the Hospitality York offices, the door was locked! I was about to leave and go to the airport and fly back home (kidding) when our HR person, who has been at York since last Thursday, walked by, saw me and let me in. So I was able to get the key to my room and go settle in. And I must say, the room is very nice. It has a full kitchen and living room, and 2 levels with the bedroom upstairs in a loft area. Very nice, I am really impressed.

So, so far, so good. Hopefully, tomorrow will be more of the same. But this being York U, I won't hold my breath. But I have to stay positive, and maybe, just maybe, York will surprise me.

Stay tuned for more updates.

The upcoming Congress

2006-05-15T16:11:00.000-04:00

Before I start, I would like to congratulate my friends Andrew Franklin and Dawn Xavier on their recent engagement. I'm really happy for you guys.

Well, this update has been a long time coming.

My work organizes every year the Congress for the Humanities and Social Sciences, one of the largest gatherings of academics, with scholars from all over the world attending. During the Congress, a book fair is held. This is the largest multi-disciplinary book fair in North America. And as of last November, I am the coordinator of said book fair, incharge of every aspect of it. AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, we got that out of the way. :-) Actually, I really like the job. My previous post, as Programme officer (which I still hold), was sometimes slow. Certain periods of the year were dead, since academics have to go do their research to write their manuscripts and send them to me. So the position of book fair coordinator offers me new challenges and I really enjoy that.

Editors and university presses, whom I deal with through the Programme, have said numerous times that I do an amazing job at the Programme (they really do, I'm not just tooting my own horn here), and I tried to bring the same dedication to the book fair. I worked really hard so far and I beleive it will pay off as I was able to pull off a major coup. For the first time in 15 years, and for the first time in the history of the Congress Book Fair, french publishers will be present at this year's fair! For a few years now, delegates have been asking where the french publishers were, but they never came to the Congress when it was held outside of Québec. But I worked my ass off (and threw a good sales pitch, it would seem), and this year, some french publishers will be present under the banner of the Association nationale des éditeurs de livres (ANEL). So hooray for me!

Now the only downside to this year's Congress is it's location: York University in Toronto. From the very beginning, they have cost us nothing but headaches, and they are still doing so, 2 weeks before the start of Congress. The Federation (my work) and the host university are supposed to work hand in hand to make the Congress a success. But I, and my co-workers, have the impression that we are making plans and York agrees with them, only to change them on their own to suit themselves. To me, they represent the classic Toronto attitude: we are better than you. They are giving me the impression that they are saying "well, you people should feel priviledge that we are allowing you to use our facilities for your event." That's really the impression I am getting from them. The bookstore seems to beleive that they are the ones running the book fair and the events attached to it. We are not pleased about all this.

And I beleive that we are all looking forward to the end of Congress so we can put the York mess behind us. I am looking forward to next year's Congress, which will be held at the University of Saskatchewan. I'm excited about going there, as I've never been. Also, it will then be my second book fair, and I will have a better idea of what I'm doing.

I will try to post regular updates during the Congress, or if I can't during, then after.

There was not alot of explicit language in this post, and for those who wanted that sort of thing, I don't want to disappoint you:

Cocksucking, motherfucking Buffalo Sabres! Who the fuck ever heard of a little punk called Pommeville or whatever his fucking name is.

Oh well, the Sens beat themselves in my opinion. But that's a story for another time.

Ignorant people, ch. 5

2006-03-14T16:16:00.000-05:00

Warning: The following entry contains explicit language. Parental discretion is advised.

I've probably mentioned this many time already, but people who think that they are the only fucking ones on the planet really piss me off. Unfortunately for me, one of my neighbours is one such person.

I live in a split level condo in Orléans. First of all, the people who designed the units, and the whole project for that matter were smoking crack while sniffing cocaine. It's very easy to get lost in the project and the units are layed out in a very unique fashion. But props to them for using space in the best way possible. Unfortunately, the contracter and builders cut some corners while building and the sound isolation between units is not the best. But hey, the fucking units were built in 1987; it's a little too fucking late to do anything about that. So what can the residents do? Pretty much either move away, or learn to accept that the isolation is not good and live with it. Or they can be like my bitch of neighbour and complain to everyone because she thinks she's the fucking queen of the universe.

After she moved in to her unit, which is below mine, in September 2004. She came to see me to talk to me about noise. She told me that she suffers from insomnia in the morning and that I sometimes woke her up when I woke up. Now, I have to wake up at 5:40 in the morning to get ready for work, and since I knew that the noise isolation wasn't the best (she inquired about it herself, and was told), and that I also knew that not everybody wakes up at 5:40 am to go to work, I told myself "okay, hear her out and we'll see if we can be more careful." That's just my considerate nature taking over. So I asked her if she could give me some examples of the noise so that I would try to be more careful. Here's what she told me:

- WhenI walk around
- When I flush the toilet
- When the water goes down the drain while I take a shower
- When I open my dresser drawers
- When I open my closet door
- When I close my front door when I leave

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! I'm not kidding here. Oh excuse me, you fucking piece of shit! I'm so sorry that I'm disturbing the fucking queen cunt of the universe! Are we all supposed to stop living? Would that please her Majesty? Why don't you go fuck yourself, you fucking retarded ignorant bitch!

Now I could've seen if it had been sometime like I play my music too loud after 11, or the tv was too loud, or something like that. But no, it was retarded shit like that. I was biting my tongue so hard to prevent myself for blowing up in her fucking face. In case you didn't realize, you goddam cow, I'm not like your pussy of a 30 year old son that still living with you. It's not like I'm a tenant who lives in your house on the second floor. I'm paying a mortgage for this unit and I'm gonna live my life like I want to. I'm not going to start blasting music early in the morning, because I was raised to respect people, not like I'm the only person who matters in the universe.

I'm writing about this now because recently, she came back on the attack. A few weeks ago, I got a phone call at 1:30am from this stupid bitch, telling me that I'd just woken her up and that I should be more considerate at this hour, since the noise isolation isn't good. And what might I have been doing that disturbed her so, you ask yourself, O my brothers? (Sorry, I went a little Alex DeLarge on you there :-) ), I'll tell you what I was doing? I had a bad cold...and I was coughing! I was fucking coughing! All I did was slam the phone down without saying a word. That broke the camel's back! I am fucking fed up. She's going to learn to tolerate other people living their lives around her Majesty, or she'll have to move. I'm not going to try and be considerate anymore. I'll live like I want to. If she wants suggestions on where she can go, I'll gladly tell her where she can go.

To the kids...from the 30 somethings

2006-02-17T08:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, this is actually a forward I got from a friend, but it's so true that I just have to put it down here. Also, mostly because I agree with everything that is said in the message.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking 25 miles to school every morning...uphill both ways...through year-round snow storms...yadda, yadda, yadda. And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in Hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it.

But now that I'm ver the ripe age of thirty (or at least very close to it), I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn utopia. And I hate to say it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid, we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter...with a pen and paper! Then you had to walk all the way acroos the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take a week to get there.

There were no MP3s or Napster/Limewire. If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

And talk about hardship? You couldn't just download porn. You had to steal it from your older brother or bribe some homeless guy to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the corner store! Those were your options.

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody called, they got the busy signal. That's it! And we didn't have fancy caller ID boxes either. When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collection agent, you just didn't know. You had to pick up the phone and take your chance!

We didn't have fancy Sony Playstations or Microsoft XBox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics. We had the Atari 2600. With games like "Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little triangle. You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just got harder and harder and faster and faster until you died...just like life!

When we went to the movie theater, there was no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were screwed.

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only 15 channels, and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called the TV Guide to find out what was on. You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel. And there was no Cartoon Network either. You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear me? We had to wait ALL week for cartoons!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove, imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy-pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Joke of the week

2006-02-09T11:19:00.000-05:00

It was either this or an actual update. So I picked this.

The actual update is forthcoming. :-)

Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up, doctor, fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said David, "but I was too embarrassed to tell the truth in front of the other kids. My dad plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs."

Don't Step on the Ducks

2006-01-16T08:21:00.000-05:00

Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in Heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"

So they entre Heaven, and sure enough, there are duskcs all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ungly man!"

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ungly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, and one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

Nice Guys Finish Last

2005-12-29T11:17:00.000-05:00

We've often heard that cliche "Nice guys finish last." Well, it seems that my life is completely based on this saying.

Any of my friends will tell you that I am one of the nicest, most caring, honest ans friendliest person you will ever meet. Even if my old volunteer coordinator back at the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario once described me as "the example of the gentle giant, because of his imposing frame", I would not hurt a fly. I don't like confrontation and can't stand people who mistreat others, or lie to them.

The last few people that I've dated had many things in common with me. Same likes and dislikes, and we had loads of fun together. Now I try to not take things too fast cause that's how people get hurt, and sometimes hurt bad. But no matter how hard I try, I always seem to get the eventual email saying that things would not work out between us. The message is always the same, too. "It's not you, it's me". To be honest with you, I don't buy that! To me, that's just something that people say when they don't want to be honest with the other person. Seems it's just a way to get out of being honest. And that hurts me more than anything, because I've always been honest with the people I dated, so why aren't you with me?

I've also received a few of the previous messages by email. Again, to me that's just a way for one person to get out of dealing with the person. It's just so much easier to write a message, hit send and then forget about it. Well, next time you are going to do that, please stop and think about how the other person will feel. It's always easier for the person sending the message, because if the other party decides to reply, you can just delete their reply without reading it, if you want to. Please have the decency to tell the person face to face or by phone. Or any way that you will be able to hear their reaction. It's only fair. Ending a relationship with someone is not an easy thing to do, no matter how short it was.

I was told many times not to give up on relationships. But I say to myself, why not? Seems all the people I meet aren't interested in "nice" guys like me. Case and point. Out there, there are men who cheat on their wives/girlfriends and who beat and abuse them. And when those pieces of shit are done with the one that they wronged (by cheating or abusing), they just move on, find someone else who will be with them and they start all over again. And while that's going on, I'm here alone on a Saturday night or on New Year's Eve, or Valentine's Day. What should I do, start drinking and become violent? Well, that'll never happen, because it's not in my nature to do that, and those men are the lowest form of human shit on the face of the Earth.

So I guess I'm going to be alone fro now. I think the time alone will do me some good. It's hard to maintain faith in relationships when they never work out for you, and all you do is be yourself.

What can I do differently?

Thought you were having a bad day?

2005-12-06T11:38:00.000-05:00

I Hate Chain Letters

2005-12-05T10:51:00.000-05:00

Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?"

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch! of bullshit. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower.

Fuck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity. The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me 15 bucks

Eulogy for a friend

2005-11-24T23:40:00.000-05:00

It was ironic. Last Thursday night, while I was watching a tribute show for Eddie Guerrero, a wrestler that had passed away suddenly, my phone rang. I answered and it was my sister, calling to tell me that Brutus, our family dog, had just passed away.

Brutus was 15 years old; he would've been 16 in March 2006. But he hadn't been feeling well the last few days, and my mom and sister were taking him to the vet when he passed away in the car. When I heard the news, all breath left my body and I was just standing there, mouth open, unable to think.

We got Brutus from an old friend of mine when I was in 7th grade, back in 1990. When we took him home, he was about 2 months old. The cutest little thing you've ever seen. When we were looking for a name for this little guy, my mom suggested Brutus. A big name for a little dog. From the moment he came into our lives, we loved him. He adopted my mom immediatly. He was loved by everybody who came into contact with him. Even our old cat Ciboulette.

He loved her. And she loved him, even if she was beating on him most of the time. I remember once, Brutus was crying at the front door cause my mom was at work and he missed her. The cat was on the couch. She got up from the couch, walked over to the dog, slapped him, then calmly walked back to the couch and went back to sleep. Poor Brut, he ran under the couch and stayed there for a while. But they did love each other. I believe that Brutus is the reason why Ciboulette lived for as long as she did. They kept chasing each other and I think that kept her in good shape. Until cancer took her.

One of my favorite memories of Brutus is when he showed that he cared for everybody. We once dog-sat my cousin's dog and he was a big dog. And as soon as he got in the house, he started barking and growling at the cat. Well, Brutus got in between them and wouldn't let the dog go near the cat. My dad didn't always get along with Brutus, because of messes he made in the house while he was still a puppy. One time, my dad and mom were play fighting and my mom was pretending to be hurt. Well, Brutus got right in between my mom and my dad, telling my dad "if you want to hit someone, hit me". What a loyal pet he was. He loved everybody and everybody loved him. Let me tell you that family gatherings at our place were heaven for him. All those people! :-)

Another good memory I have of Brutus happened on the day Ciboulette died. She had cancer, and while she didn't seem to be suffering, she wasn't eating, or drinking anymore. So we decided to have her put to sleep before she starved to death. Well, the day of, Brutus went to see her in her basket, and washed her from head to tail. And then, he laid down next to her basket and didn't move, until my sister came and got the cat to go to the vet. She wrapped her in a blanket. Brutus waited by the door the whole time she was gone, and when she came back, he went to the blanket and lied down on it for the rest of the day.

He was a very caring dog, but he was also a little sneak. Hehehe. I remember once, when my sister was working nights at the hospital, and I was still living at home, Brutus would sleep in my room. I woke up to his crying one night, and he had two paws on my bed and was looking me straight in the eyes. I asked him what he wanted, and he went to the door, crying. That means "I gotta go pee". So I got up, put on my bathrobe, cause it was winter, and went downstairs. Went to turn off the alarm and then to the back door. I called him but he didn't come. I kept calling but nothing. So I went back upstairs to check on him and there was Mr. Brutus, sound asleep on my bed, where I had been lying, all toasty warm. :-) That little sneak. LOL!

It's been a week and I still can't beleive he's gone. My ex girlfriend once told me that when dogs die, they go to a huge field with lots of squirrels and they chase them all day long. I think he's doing that and he's spending lots of time with Mamie, whom he loved and of course Ciboulette. And he can meet Popo, and of course Grand-Père is there too. And he is patiently waiting to see us again.

Rest in peace, my little dog. We love you, and will never forget you. Until we meet again someday, goodnight Brut. Be good.

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness
So grieve a while for if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust
It's only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I'll greet you with a smile, and say,.....

Welcome home.

Which Sesame Street Character are you most like?

2005-11-04T11:45:00.000-05:00

YAY FOR SNUFFY!!!
----------------------------------
Snuffleupagus

You scored 52% Organization, 40% abstract, and 49% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are somewhat organized, both concrete and abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.

I bet you didn't think you were Snuffleupagus. Let's find out why.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren't totally obsessed with neatness though. Alloyius Snuffleupagus (and all Snuffleupagus') is not sloppy by nature, but he moves so incredibly slowly that it is impossible for him to be totally organized.You both are about equally concrete and abstract thinkers. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course. Snuffy generally has very basic interests, but he explores his abstract sensitive side when he plays his snuffleflute.You both are somewhat introverted. Originally Snuffleupagus was very shy and was only Big Bird's invisible friend. However as he has aged he has started to build new friendships with new characters. Like Snuffy, you probably like to have some time to yourself. However, you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations.

The other possible characters are Oscar the Grouch; Big Bird; Cookie Monster; Ernie; Elmo; Kermit the Frog; Grover; The Count; Guy Smiley and Bert

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 31% on Organization

You scored higher than 22% on concrete-abstra

You scored higher than 24% on intro-extrovert

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=4525550649363613939

Sane or insane?

2005-11-03T11:35:00.000-05:00

During a visit to a psychiatric institute, a visitor asks the director on what criteria do we base ourselves to know if a person must be committed.

"Well", said the director, "we fill a bathtub with water and we give the patient the choice of a spoon, a cup, or a bucket, and ask him to empty the bathtub."

"Ah, I see", said the man. "A sane person would normally choose the bucket, since he could empty more water than with a spoon or a cup!"

"No", replied the director. "A sane person would pull the plug. Would you like a room with a view?"

Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal - Black Sabbath

2005-11-03T11:22:00.000-05:00

Take my advice, people. Read books. Read magazines. Read anything. Just don't waste your time on relationships and love. Those are a waste of time. You will get more out of reading than being in a relatinship.

That's what I'm going to do from now on. I've always read alot, but I'm not going to waste my time anymore.

Ignorant people, chap. 4

2005-10-25T12:30:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been thinking about these posts concerning ignorant people, and I started thinking, maybe the problem is not with the people out there, but more with me. Maybe I'm just not patient enough with the people I interact with. Maybe I should stop and say "I should be more patient and understanding when it comes to dealing with others". And then I have a good laugh (I needed it), and come to the realization that it's not me, it's the large number of ignorant motherfuckers out there.

Warning: The following entry contains explcit language. Parental discretion is advised.

This entry goes hand in hand with Chap. 2 concerning fuckwads on the road. I've noticed last week that the term "Sunday Driver" no longer applies, as fucking retards who shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car are now out from Friday evening to Monday morning. On Saturday, I was stuck in traffic on the Queensway, which was bizarre cause it wasn't rush hour, and the Senators were out of town. So I was wondering what was the hold up. Here's the reason for the slow traffic. A police officer had pulled over a car. On the other side of the highway (opposite direction). So why was everybody stopped? Do you motherfuckers think the cop will come after you if you don't go 20 km/h? NO! He won't, you pieces of shit! I heard a military man say this once on the bus,; there are too many analysts in Ottawa. People who have to stop and analyze what's going on. Why don't you cocksuckers just keep on driving instead of pissing off everybody.

And now, the one that takes the cake. This is so fucking unbeleivable. It's almost as amazing as the bitch who was inching her way through an intersection with a flashing red light that I mentioned in Chap. 2. Some asshole was stopped at a red light with the rest of us. Then the light turned green and he didn't move. Now that's no big deal, cause lots of people have had this happen to them, me included. After a while, like always we honked the horn to let him know the light was green. He didn't move. So we honked twice to let him know. Then, this retard sticks his cell phone out the window, waves it around and goes back to talking and still doesn't move. He indicated to the rest of us that he was on a call so we should stop honking. Would I have been a bad person if I would've gone over, taken his cell phone and shoved it so far up his ass that he would've had to push it aside to brush his teeth?!

This just goes to show you that there are too many people out there who only think of themselves. They are what matters and the world be damned. These ignorant fucks should be rounded up and beaten severely, on a daily basis. That would make the world a much better place.

Hmm, that wasn't as profanity-filled has I had hoped. Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age. Well, if I wanted to have every third word of a post be a swear, I would write about the city of Toronto. Hmmm, something to keep in mind for later.

Ignorant people, chap. 3

2005-10-07T12:50:00.000-04:00

Warning: This entry will contain explicit language. Parental discretion is advised.

Now this entry on ignorant people will be a little different, as in it won't be about ignorant people, but more about one ignorant motherfucker in particular. I have received permission to talk about this.

A friend of mine met this person on a dating website, and there was an instant connection between them. Now my friend is one of the nicest, most generous and sincere person I've ever met. She would do anything to help others. Her only flaw is that she likes kids. But hey, nobody's perfect. LOL! ;-)

Now this fuckwad is a member of the Armed Forces, and unfortunately, he's giving them a bad name. They went on a few dates and they were crazy for each other. I was happy to see my friend so happy to have met someone. And he was saying how special she was and how he felt wonderful to be around her. And that she would be nice to come home to, since his work sometimes takes him out of the country. She accepted that and they were making plans to meet and go out again.

Then the bullshit started. He made a date with her for a Friday night, and told her he'd call her on Thursday. She was all looking forward to it. Thursday comes, no call. Doesn't hear from him for about 3 weeks. Then she receives and email from him saying that he had to leave the country for work and it was top secret and he couldn't tell her he was leaving or where he was going. Right, good one Mr. Bond. Your work consits of going to countries and setting up programs to teach english. Really top secret work you do there. Thank you for keeping us safe from people who can't speak English, you fucking piece of trash! The he told her that he would be back in a few months. So my friend waited, cause she had deep feelings for this guy.

He did come back from his global saving mission and spent the evening with her. He then told her that they'll go out the following weekend. My friend was very happy about that. Anybody want to take a guess what happened? That's right, another top secret mission to save the world from non-english speaking people. And again not so much as an explination.

Now I'm going to shorthen this story and just say that this walking pile of shit did this another 6 times. He kept telling her she was special, and that he had these deep feelings for her and that she would be the type of person he wants to come home to. Now I do know that people in the military sometimes have to leave on short notice. I just find it really fucking strange that he has to leave on top secret missions ONLY WHEN HE MADE A DATE WITH HER. Do you get kicks out of using this sweet girl, you cock-sucking motherfucker?! Treating her like a fool?

Then my friend, who has a journal entry on Livejournal (shamless plug), mentioned how she felt about him and how she wished he could just be with her and hold her tight (I'm going to vomit here :-P). And what does he do? He comments on her journal that she led him on and that she had no right to say those things. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! Listen up, you Goddamn piece of shit; a journal or blog is made for a person to express his or her thoughts, and if you don't fucking like it, don't read it! And please explain to me how saying that she cares for you and mentioning that you said you cared for her is leading you on? Do you even know the meaning of "leading on"? The answer you're looking for is "No, I don't know the meaning, cause I'm a retarded fuck." If you're looking for the meaning of leading someone on, what you did to her is leading someone on.

And now, my friend has finally realized that this person is a worthless piece of human trash and a waste of her time. Good for her! She deserved much better that this asshole son of a bitch and all he deserved is a good kick in head.

In a rut

2005-09-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

Boy, I haven't had much to write about lately. But that's going to change in the next few days once I come back from my trip to Toronto. Going there for work. I'll have more to say once I get back. But in the mean time, for those of you readers who just can't wait, here's something to keep you occupied.

SECTION 1 ABOUT YOURSELF
+ Known as: Benoit
+ Lives in: Orléans
+ Birthday: October 26, 1976
+ School: University degree
+ Religion: Roman Catholic
+ Shoe size: 12
+ Hair color: Brown with shades of gray (AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!)
+ Eye color: Brown
+ Fears: failing

SECTION 2 HAVE YOU EVER...
+ Cheated on someone? no
+ Been Cheated on? Not to my knowledge
+ Fallen off the bed? almost. Luckily I turned into a concrete wall. And that hurts
+ Broken someone’s heart? No
+ Had your heart broken? No
+ Had a dream come true? Not yet
+ Done something you regret? Yes
+ Cheated on a test? No comment ;-)

SECTION 3 CURRENTLY...
+ Wearing? pants and a shirt
+ Listening to? co-workers talking
+ Located? at work
+ Chatting with? Carrielynn
+ Watching? the pc screen
+ Should REALLY be doing? work. But don't tell anyone.
+ Reading? Lord of Chaos by Robert Jordan

SECTION 4 DO YOU...
+ Brush your teeth? Daily
+ Like anybody? yes
+ Have any piercings? no
+ Drive? yes
+ Drink? no
+ Smoke? no
+ Got a pager? no
+ cell phone? Yes

SECTION 5 THE LAST PERSON YOU...
+ Hugged? Tammy
+ IMed? Carrielynn
+ Talked on the phone: parents
+ Yelled at? Darcy Tucker (that little bitch. Oh well, he got what he deserved. Go Mike!)
+ Fell in love with? N/A

SECTION 6 PERSONAL...
+ What do you want to be when you grow up? I am grown up.
+ What has been the best day of your life?
+ What comes first in your life? Family and friends
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? Working on it
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? DAMN! I have to get up in (so many) hours.
+ Did you lose someone you really loved? yes
+ How many times have you fallen deeply in love? Never deeply.
+ Love your family? yes
+ Love your friends? They know it!

SECTION 7 FAVORITE...
+ Movie: the Lord of the Rings trilogy and 5 out of 6 Star Wars movies (Episode 1 sucked balls)
+ Actor: Johnny Depp
+ Actress: Sandra Bullock
+ Song: there are alot
+ Band: I like many, but I've always liked Ozzy
+ Book: The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
+ Store: CHAPTERS!!!
+ City: Myrtle Beach, SC
+ Relative: Eric
+ Sport: Hockey
+ Sport team: Ottawa Senators
+ Athlete: Male - Zdeno Chara
+ Athlete: Female - Lindsay Davenport
+ Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate
+ Fruit: oranges and apples
+ Candy: Gummies
+ Holiday: Christmas
+ Day of the Week: Saturday
+ Time: morning when I get most of my work done
+ Color: Black, Blue, Red. Dark colors
+ Quote: The light at the end of the tunnel is usually uncoming traffic

SECTION 8 LEAST FAVORITE...
+ Movie: Anything with Woody Allen
+ Actor: Russell Crow
+ Actress: Jennifer Lopez
+ Song: Anything by the Tragically Hip
+ Band: Tragically Hip; Rolling Stones; Tragically Hip; Led Zepplin; Tragically Hip
+ Book: Moonfleet. I don't know the author; we read it in 9th grade english class
+ Store: Old Navy
+ Relative: None
+ Sport: Baseball
+ Sport team: all sports teams from Toronto
+ Athlete: Male - the Toronto Maple Leafs
+ Athlete: Female - Venus and Serena Williams
+ Ice Cream Flavor: don't know
+ Fruit: bananas
+ Candy: the sour ones
+ Holiday: Valentine's Day
+ Day of the Week: Monday
+ Time: income tax time
+ Color: bright yellow
+ Quote: don't know

SECTION 9 DO YOU...
+ Like to give hugs? yes
+ Like to give kisses? yes
+ Like to walk in the rain? yes, well a light rain
+ Prefer black or blue pens? black
+ Like to travel? depends where I'm going
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? side
+ Think you're attractive? yes
+ Have a goldfish? no
+ Ever have the falling dream? nope
+ Have stuffed animals? used to

SECTION 10 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT...
+ Abortion: I think it's the person's choice, althought I don't approve of it myself
+ Smoking: Again, it's the person's choice. I can do without it
+ Eating Disorders: Stupid
+ Suicide: Cowardly
+ Summer: Nice, but WAAAAAYYYYYY too humid
+ Tattoos: I have one, and I want another
+ Piercings: depends where

SECTION 11 THIS OR THAT...
+ Pierced nose or tongue? neither
+ Single or taken? to be determined :-)
+ MTV or BET? MTV
+ 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek? a sledgehammer blow to the head. It's more fun than either of those.
+ CSI or Law and Order? CSI
+ Survivor or Big Brother? Reality tv sucks, but the first few Survivors were interesting
+ Sugar or salt? Sugar
+ Silver or gold? Silver
+ Chocolate or flowers? either
+ Color or Black-and-white photos? color
+ M&M's or Skittles? M & M's
+ Stay up late or sleep in? Stay up late
+ Hot or cold? cold
+ Lake or mountains? both are nice. a lake in the mountains
+ Sun or moon? Moon
+ Left or Right? Right
+ 10 Acquaintances or one best friend? 10 acquaintances
+ Mustard or ketchup? none
+ Spring or Fall? Fall
+ Winter or summer? winter
+ Happy or sad? Happy
+ Wonder or amazement? wonder
+ McDonald's or Burger King? McDonald's, although eating trash is better than McDicky's
+ Mexican or Italian food? Italian
+ Lights on or off? off
+ Candy or soda? candy
+ Pepsi or Coke? Pepsi

Ignorant people, chap. 2

2005-09-21T12:20:00.000-04:00

WARNING: The following entry contains strong language. Parental discretion is advised. Oh yeah! Angry Man is back!!!

Road rage: n : violence exhibited by drivers in traffic. But in today's society, I don't think that term applies anymore. I think it's more justifiable road rage, because of all you little, ignorant fucks out there on the road!

If anthropologists are looking to stupid ignorant people, they can easily find a huge concentration of them on the roads. People say that to drive you need to be calm and patient. That's kinda fucking hard to do with so many ignorant motherfuckers driving. They also say that you need good judgement to drive. Well someone should tell these idiots.

One example for you. I once saw a woman who was going through an intersection. Give her credit that she was obeying the rules of the road she learned in driving school, which states that you cannot drive through on a red light. Beautiful! A good rule to follow, for sure. Problem is, the lights at the intersection were out so all you had were the blinking red light. Well, this bitch was inching forward everytime the light was not red, and stopping when it was. ... ... yeah! I'm sure most of you are stunned silent by this, and are thinking "he's lying" I swear I am not. Bring me a Bible and I will swear on it that I am telling the truth. I was among the dozen of people yelling and wishing this idiot would die a painfull, painfull, slow death. That would be one more fuck off the road.

Another example of idiocy on the road, those people who are parked at a stop sign. News flash, shithead! it's not going to turn green! You can go after stopping. Are you waiting for a fucking invitation? Well, here it is. "Dear fuck, you may go straight to Hell! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200!" And another thing that burns me up, are the people who take 5 minutes to turn a corner. Holy shit!

I'm done venting now. So here's an idea that may help solve some of these problems on the road. There should be a mandatory road test every 5 years for everyone. Cause part of the problem right now is that people get their license and fuck the rules. If they had to pass a driving exam every 5 years, the number of ignorant shits on the road would greatly be reduced.

Limp Duck

2005-09-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

A woman brought a very limp duck to a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room.

He returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped on the table and also sniffed the bird from its peak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."

Holy gas pump robbery, Batman!

2005-09-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

I couldn't beleive my eyes yesterday. Driving past the gas station, I looked at the price of regular gas, and I had to look again, thinking I must have seen wrong. But no I hadn't. $1.20 a litre. Holy fucking shit!

This is robbery! We all know the government helps fix the price of gas and that close to half of the said price is taxes. Un-fucking-believable! I think it would be fun to have Lee's point of view on the government's participation in this. :-)

Now I think that many people out there have received that email telling everyone not to buy a single drop of gas on a certain day to send a message to the gas companies. The message is saying that that kind of pressure will cause the gas companies to lose millions. Well I hate to burst your bubble, but that won't happen. If no one buys any gas, not one single drop, for one day, that just means that the next day, twice as many people will be buying gas. So all you will have accomplished will be to postpone the profits to the gas companies by 24 hours. It won't do a thing to lower the price again.

Unfortunately, our society is too dependant on gas. One solution would be to leave our vehicles at home and walk/bike/take public transportation. It would also help with the global warming thing. But it's up to individual people to decide what to do, I'm not gonna start promoting that like those Greenpeace tree-huggers. Some people have been fighting the high gas prices by filing up and driving off, without paying. But then, they are no better than the crooks in the government and the gas companies.

Ahh, Camping we went

2005-08-29T11:10:00.000-04:00

Hello all. I apologize for not writing a new entry in a long while. Things have been happening at work and elsewhere, but that's for another time.

This entry is about a week late, but better late than never. Two weekends ago, my friends and I went on a camping trip. My friends have been going for a few years now, but this was my first trip along. And it was fun.

Granted the weather wasn't the greatest; was cloudy with some rain (including a good downpour on the Friday night) most of the weekend, and the sun came out just has we were leaving. Of course! :-) But it was still a fun time. And we were really roughing it, this year. We rented a cottage with 2 bedrooms, satellite tv, etc. Oh yeah, real rough. LOL!

We got there on the Friday afternoon and unpacked and made dinner on the BBQ. We wanted to build a fire, and we did get it started, but the sky opened up and we were forced to go inside. SO we broke out the board games. We first played Buzz word, and that's a very fun game. For one team at least. My team got spanked hard! (But we liked it :-P) then we played another game which I can't remember the name. But that one didn't last long. Andrew had brought a movie, in case it rained. So we watched "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"... ... ...yeah. It was ridiculous; it was what I would call a bad B-movie. But as Andrew said "Best 100 pennies I ever spent."

The Saturday was still gray, but it didn't rain as much. So people were able to take the canoe out on the lake. There was also a row boat, which we took out in the afternoon. But since I was rowing (that's harder than I thought it would be), we kept going around in a circle. Curse my right arm being stronger than my left! We didn't go out far cause I didn't have a lifejacket that fit. Again the curse of being a big guy. In the afternoon, Steve, Perry, Tia and Dawn went to town, Maniwaki and Gracefield, and got lost on the way back. Andrew and I stayed at the cottage. That evening, we were able to get the fire going, thanks in part to Pyro (aka Dawn), who I'm sure would've burned anything available (All the wood, the boats, the cottage, Andrew) if we hadn't stopped her. Hehehe, just kidding, love ya Dawn! But the fire did burn and we stayed out from 8:30 to 11:30. Lots of laughs and sex talk, and the change of seeing Andrew go through the folding chair he'd brought. That was hilarious! Then Sunday, we packed up and drove back home.

It was a good weekend, and I'm looking forward to going back next year. I apologize if you were all waiting for something more exciting (but I doubt it. Hehehe), I will have something more interesting to say soon.

Still Rocking After 25 Years

2005-08-14T08:38:00.000-04:00

Last night was my group of friends' monthly poker night. It's always a great time, with lots of laughs and good times. But this month, I was absent from the game. The reason for the absence is because I went with my sister to the Corel Centre to watch her all-time favorite band: DEF LEPPARD.

I also like Def Leppard, although not as much as my sister, that's for sure. They were my second favorite band back in the 80's, after Europe. For those of you who don't know Europe, one of their hits, and it might have been their only big hit, was The Final Countdown. Aaahh, memories.

But I will always remember that talent show while I was in 6th grade, where a classmate of mine did a dance routine to the tune Pour Some Sugar on Me. At that moment, I thought "That's a kick-ass song!" And I went and bought the album. My sister also liked them from that point on, I believe, and while my taste in music has changed a bit, she has remained a true Leppard fan. And with good reason. After 25 years, the guys can still rock the house!

The show started with the mandatory Canadian content, the Tea Party. I don't know many of their songs, but most of the ones I do know were played (Temptation, Heaven Coming Down, and that's about it :-P). Then the main show started. The crowd went into a frenzy. What I enjoyed most about the show was that since it was to promote the band's 25 years and their new greatest hits album Rock of Ages, they mostly played their hits. Only once did I have to ask my sister "What song is this?" Turns out it was Promises from one of their later albums, after my time. But the show was great! And they saved the best for last by playing Pour Some Sugar on Me during the encore. All in all, a terrific show.

Earlier in the evening, my sister and I had gone to see the area where the tour buses were parked. So after the show, my sister asked if I wouldn't mind going back and maybe she could get a picture of the guys as they were coming out of the Corel Centre. I said sure, I'm not working today :-). So we went to the area where a small crowd had also had the same idea. After a while, wouldn't you know it, Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer came out and saluted the crowd. He was followed by Vivian Campbell. Viv went to put his bag in the bus...and then came over to sign autographs. well, the crowd loved that! He was joined by the others as well. So my sister didn't just get some pics of the band members coming out of the building, she got pics of her WITH the band members. And their autographs. I'm think that made her day.

The only down part was that the singer, Joe Elliot came out last and was signing autographs and taking pics, but some jackass took a pic without telling him and I think it kinda blinded him and pissed him off ("Okay, that really wasn't necessary." we heard him say) Not long after this, he said he had to go. So a few people in the crowd didn't get an autograph from him or a picture, including my sister. She was disappointed about that. I know that the late hour was a factor but I beleive it's more the flash that upset him. But as my sister said, now she'll just have to come back to the next show. :-P Maybe she can bring Andrew this time.

All in all, a great show and a great evening. Rock on!

Get a hobby, people!

2005-07-31T09:34:00.000-04:00

Hello all. It's been a while since I've posted something. That's what happens when you're on vacation. :-)

So far the vacation has been great. The weather has been terrific and I was able to do lots of things outside, including rollerblading and playing golf. I also helped my dad finish his deck. And to think I still have another full week before going back to the office. Sweet! Now I'm hoping for a few days of rain this coming week, cause I'd like to have a day where I can vegetate inside and not feel guilty. I also want to go see the new War museum and the Pompeii exhibit at the Museum of Civilizations. I saw the Renaissance in Florence exhibit on Friday at the National Gallery. There are some very nice works of art, but the exhibit isn't very big. And for the admission price of $12, I felt a little ripped off. Theay are advertising it as "Leonardo Da Vinci, Michaelangelo and the Renaissance in Florence". Well, I saw works by Da Vinci but saw nothing by Michael. Maybe I just missed them. Oh well.

Now I want to talk about something that has burned me up lately. And it kinda goes with the post about stupid parents. I'm sure most of you have heard about the video game "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" and the big controversy when a mod chip was made available that can unlock a mini-game with explicit sexual content. That means that your character in the game can pick up women or visit his girlfriends in the game and have wild sex with them...on screen. Well a group of parents in the States went ape-shit when they discovered this and crusaded for the game to be banned. How can children be exposed to this?! The producers of the game should be ashamed of themselves.

Alright, first of all, and this may make Perry happy, I agree that the message of the game is not a good one. Your character must reclaim his hood from rival gangs by initianting gang wars, doing drive-by shootings and swarmings. He also has to deal with crooked cops, the mafia, and do other petty crimes to complete the game. The game also allows you to wander around the map and do whatever you wish (attacking innocent people, picking up protitutes, etc.). I agree that this game is not for children, just like the previous titles in the Grand Theft Auto series (GTA I, GTA II, GTA III and GTA: Vice City). But that's why it was rated "M" for Mature. Meaning you have to be 17 or older to purchase the game.

If an 8 year old kid has a copy of the game, it's because his parents bought it for him. Now let's look at the case, shall we? The title is GRAND THEFT AUTO : San Andreas. Let's stop right there. As a parent, would you buy your 8 year old kid a game entitled GRAND THEFT AUTO? There Is also a big "M" on the case, saying: Rated "M" for Mature. Next to it: Blood and Gore; Intense Violence; Strong Language; Strong Sexual Content; Use of Drugs. Again, would you as a parent reading this buy this game for an 8 year old? And on the cover, you see 4 people with guns and some of them are performing a drive-by. You also see a scantly-clad woman. So if you're still going ahead and purchasing the game for an 8 year old...it's your own fucking fault and not the game's producer's!

And beside, the mod was created by a Dutch hacker that broke into the game and rearranged it. I don't know how that works really, I'm computer retarded. But tha producers of the game never intended to have something like that happen. But the parents got their wish and now the game is rated "AO" for Adults Only. This means that you must be 18 or older to purchase the game. I'm sure that extra year will make lots of difference. Oh no wait, it won't. Cause irresponsible parents will still buy the game for their young children.

By the way, the game does kick ass! :-)

Angry Man?

2005-07-19T08:07:00.000-04:00

A number of people now have looked at this blog and wrote to me asking "Why are you angry?" The truth is...I'm not. Well, sometimes I am but not always. Since I don't want to come off as an old crank; I have my later years in life to be that, I'm going to explain the Angry Man name. Plus I don't have much work to do right now at the office. The summer can be long around here. Sigh.

The Angry Man reference is a long standing joke with my friend Andrew. Back in our LOEB days, Andrew came up with the brilliant idea of a spoken word album, based on a remix of the song "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega, called "I am Sitting in the Doorway with a Donkey on the Table". For those who know the song, you can get the humour here. I told Andrew that this was a great idea and that the album would be the first release of my label company, AngryMan Records. Because back in the LOEB days, almost everybody working there was angry.

So the joke stuck and that's where the Angry Man reference comes from. Although Andrew has yet to complete the album, and I'm told that I now have to compete for the rights with the Littl' Lush Music label. Love ya, Dawn!

Ignorant people, chapter 1

2005-07-11T13:13:00.000-04:00

Aahh, ignorant people. How much do I hate thee. Let me count the ways...hmmm, i don't think I can do that because I don't think a big enough number exists.

A statistic says that 1 out of 4 people on Earth is Chinese. Well, from what I can observe out there, 3 out of 4 people are also ignorant. My definition of ignorance is the complete lack of courtesy for others and the use of common sense.

In this chapter on ignorant people, and as a friend of mine pointed out yesterday, this subject will be a many chapter affair, I will talk about you ignorant fucks who take the bus.

Since I work downtown, I take the bus every day to and from the office. And let me tell you that ignorant people are out in droves on the OC Transpo buses. Just last week, all along the route home, we were picking up people. Then we had to wait until the looked into their bags to find their bus passes so they could show the driver and then he can continue the route. So you didn't know you had to show your pass, you dumb fuck! Here's a neat trick for next time. Have the fucking thing out before you get on the bus! That way you won't be holding up the rest of us who want to get home. But again, people just thinking of themselves.

And then you have the teenagers on the bus. Oh that's fun, isn't it? Riding on a bus with teenagers? What could possibily be more fun than that? How about getting kicked in the balls by someone wearing steel toed boots! Yes that sounds like more fun. Two girls once got on the bus and proceeded to have a discussion amongst themselves...and the rest of the bus. Would you mind keeping your voice down? The rest of the people don't want to know what he/she said about him/her during last period, or what you would do to this teacher if you could tell them off, or how much you got drunk last night, even though you're 14. No one gives a flying fuck about you and your pathetic life! And then there are the school bags. Why don't you remove your loaded school bags once you get on the bus so that they don't smack people in the face when you go flying all over the place cause you're not holding on to the bars? And when it does smash into people, why don't you apologize? Why don't you do that? Because you are ignorant little shitheads, who can't think of anyone but themselves! That's why.

Would I be an evil person if I took the next school back that hits me in the head and chucked it out the window of the moving bus? What about if I send the kid out after it? One less ignorant peon on the face of the Earth.

And it begins...

2005-07-07T11:46:00.000-04:00

Welcome one and all to my blog. A number of my friends have these and they love putting down their thoughts on many different subjects. And they suggested that I should start one as well. So here I go.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed on this blog are mine and mine alone. I have always beleived that people are entitled to their own opinions and I respect them for it. I may not always agree with said opinions, but I still respect the people who have them. And I expect others to do the same for me and my thoughts on different subjects.

There, we got that out of the way. I will warn people that the language used on here will sometimes be a little colourfull. And that the orthograph/grammar may not always be perfect. But this is for fun, and I don't care if I make a few mistakes. Hopefully you won't either.

I will try to post regularly on here, but I may sometimes forget to do so, so bare with me please. :-)

Since I'm currently at work, I should probably do some work, cause we gots to get paid. There will be a post on here soon, on a subject that reallt, REALLY, REALLY burns me up : ignorant people.